Thursday, July 16, 2009

Love Is Understanding

While flipping through the pages of this classic religious literature"Old Path White Cloud" by Thich Nhat Hanh, I landed my eyes upon an interesting chapter, that relates to the concept of "love". Love is a mystery to many of us. and Love is also the most misunderstood word. Expression such as: love is blind, love knows no boundary, love at first sight, in love there is suffering, further complicate the true meaning of love. No doubt the effect of love is endearing, and it is a most cherished human emotion.

After skimming over the chapter on 'love', it has unravelled the mystery of love. Like a surgeon dissecting a body to investigate the cause of the illness, 2500 years ago, this young wise prince learnt the truth about love, and laid out to the eyes of layman the intricacies of love and its different types.
Here I take the privilege of quoting from the chapter on love. So the story goes :

"One afternoon, the Buddha received a young man whose face was lined with grief and misery. The Buddha learned that the man had recently lost his only son and for several days had stood in the cemetery crying out loud, "my son, my son, where have you gone?" The man was unable to eat, drink, or sleep".
The Buddha told him, "In love there is suffering".

As a reader, now I can perceive your bewilderment on this statement by the Buddha. So it is no surprising as the man responded by objecting what Buddha just said, " You are wrong. Love doesn't cause suffering, Love brings only happiness and joy". The bereaved man abruptly left before the Buddha could explain what he had meant.

Did Buddha mean then that the more you love the more you suffer? let find out, because whatever the Buddha says is always well thought , and meditated upon. After some people inquired Buddha about the validity of his pronouncement on love, then Buddha responded unflinchingly:
" Recently I heard that a woman in Savatthi lost her mother. She was so grief-stricken that she lost her mind and has been wandering the streets asking everyone, 'Have you seen my mother?Have you seen my mother?' I have also heard about two young lovers who committed suicide together because the girl's parents were forcing her to marry someone else. These two stories also demonstrate that love can cause suffering".

So in a way the Buddha ask us all, " if some misfortune befell to one of you dear ones, would you suffer?"
but don't be mistaken, Buddha does not say we should not love, what he says is this
" There are many kinds of love. We should examine closely the nature of each kinds of love. Life has a great need of presence of love, but not the sort of love that is based on lust, passion, attachment, discrimination and prejudice. There is another kind of love, sorely needed,which consists of loving kindness and compassion".

So Buddha concludes his sermon on love with the following guidance:
"The love for which all beings truly hunger is loving kindness and compassion. Loving kindness or Maitri is the love that has the capacity to bring happiness to another. Karuna or compassion is the love which has the capacity to remove another's suffering. Both do not demand anything in return. Loving kindness and compassion are not limited to one's parents, spouse, children, relatives, caste members, and countrymen. They extend to all people and all beings" He continues
"with loving kindness and compassion , life is filled with peace, joy, and contentment".

To my readers, I have to confess here, that i dont know if I can love someone including my dear wife and baby without attachment. But Buddha's explanation of love helped me a lot in understanding love, that love is indeed understanding.

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